When I met Rebekah, through mutual friends, it was apparent that she stood out from the crowd. I had heard about her from so many of my guy friends long before I laid eyes on her. All of them had, in failed attempts, vied for her attention. Apparently she had a long term, long distance boyfriend that no one had laid eyes on. Once I saw her, I decided I was going to win her over.

Persistence seemed to win over Rebekah. I constantly flirted, complimented and simply paid quite a bit of attention to her. I figured that if her boyfriend was long distance, then she would be starving for a bit of quality attention. After about a month of hard work, and some slight cheating on her part, she and her boyfriend ended up breaking up. I could not have been more thrilled. And all my friends were slightly annoyed that I had some how pulled off what they had determined was impossible.

Our relationship never became official. There were many meals out together, evening’s downtown with friends and plenty of movie watching at my house but she never wanted anything too serious. Unfortunately for me, after putting all this effort into Rebekah, I had gotten hooked. She got scared and some how ended up back with the previous guy.

For a girl I never really had wanted to date in the first place, you would think I would have done a better job avoiding getting attached. It actually ended up being heartbreaking. I knew Rebekah was just getting out of a relationship with someone else and I knew that she was not looking for anything serious from me. Yet, I still became attached to her and I paid for it. The relationship heartbreak was the worst because my friends could not really sympathize after I had stolen her away.

Over the next few days and weeks, I assumed, after seeing that my hard work paid off in the beginning, that I could win her back. I thought our non-relationship had not actually experienced a break up. As heartbreaking as it sounds, I just acted like nothing had changed. I would text her multiple times a day, which she would respond to and I continued to go to parties and bars that I knew she would be at. I focused most of my time and effort on her. Eventually Rebekah told me all the attention was making her uncomfortable and it was smothering her. After a few months, I just let the situation go and actually went out of my way to avoid her, the only way I could get over her. Even today, it still hurts to run into her or to see her out with other guys.

Andrew Henderson, 28, Systems Engineer

“Breaking up is hard to do”; but sometimes it is an absolute necessity. Especially if the relationship carries all the caustic characteristics of a tabloid horror story. naturally, it also emcompassed all of the aspects most intelligent people try to avoid in a relationship: long distance, a bucket full of jealousy, and a heaping helping of a little bit crazy! Throw in the holidays, the worst time of the year to break up and you have the disaster that was my Thanksgiving a few years back.

The relationship started out nice enough. We had met online and seemed to have a lot in common. But a flight across country for our first meeting should have been a clue of what was to come. I called her cell as soon as I got off the plane. I saw a woman talking on the phone that looked like the picture I had of her and quickly mentioned I thought I saw her. “Oh no, it can’t be me. I am still coming up to the airport.” That was her first lie. Basically, she wanted to scope me out first so that if I was a dog, she could bolt. Too late! I had seen her. This was just the beginning of the relationship breakup.

After a year of similar craziness it all came to head over the thanksgiving holiday. Locked in her home with a crazy dog, 5 nutty cats, two daughters, one of whom was constantly in “shoot me please, she’s at it again “drama, and regular jealous badgering about every text or phone call I got, it was time to make a stand…and make a run for it! There was just one problem though; she was planning on taking me back to the airport. I knew my leaving was going to be hard on her, and that it would shock her but I know eventually she would get over us breaking up. There was no way to sneak out with all my “stuff” without creating a scene.

Luckily, the night before I was scheduled to leave it began to snow like crazy. There was going to be blizzard conditions soon and the airport would be closing down by the next afternoon. I dutifully used the “I have to get back to my business” speech and loaded up early for the drive to airport. It was only after I was safely on the plane home that she noticed I was gone for good..

Rodney D – 53, Writer and Sales Trainer.

Last December it was time to call it quits with Linda-the-little-princess. After two years of good times and bad, it was time to have The Talk and call it quits.

No matter how desperate things seemed now, I was still unprepared to make the final goodbye and end the relationship. The two weeks of anticipation leading up to the separation seemed worse than its actual happening. So, we went to a sidewalk cafe and vented everything.

All went well when I told her she was a wonderful person and a catch for somebody else, but too emotional and high maintenance for me. Surprisingly, the break up talk went smoothly and we were in mutual agreement and talked things over rationally. No harm done until the last minute when she fired back with an arsenal of insults. Fair enough, at least its over and I’m free.

Three days have passed with no phone calls or emails, seeming the little princess and her tantrums are behind me.

Then Saturday night at three o’clock in the morning there’s a scurrying noise coming from the front yard. I turn on the porch lights and see nothing but a few bags of fast food trash thrown in the flower bed. The real surprise would not be known until sunrise when the cops show up and ring the doorbell.

My ex pint-sized little psycho ex girlfriend had employed the services of others to steal a 6 foot Christmas tree and anchor it to the top of my Jeep parked in the driveway.

All the price tags and proof of no purchase were as plain as day dangling from the bottom of the tree. At 7am, “someone” informed the police that there was a stolen Christmas tree on my street and the rest is history.

Court appearance, fines, and a mountain of accusations until she was finally arrested for theft. Whatever emotional bond I had for her was snapped for good, setting me free from the guilt of hurting her feelings.

So guys, if you’re trying to get over a breakup, let the situation play out and you will see a side to your ex that you won’t soon forget. Once you see her for what she really is, there’s no more hurt or repentance.

Mel, 22

There she was, the most beautiful creature God had created, and to top it off, she was drinking a Bud Light longneck like it would be her last drink on earth.

Head tilted back, long black waves skimming over the fine, tanned lines of her back and her neck exposed as she guzzled the beer like a pro. I was caught, hook, line, and sinker.

I introduced myself and we spent the next six years in a haze of bliss. She was beautiful and fiery and a temptress. The sex never fizzled out and the laughter never died. And then she broke up with me two weeks after I had bought the ring and two days before I was going to propose.

Why did she break up with me? It was over a mouse. I know what you’re thinking. That’s ludicrous. Well, the thing is, we had a mouse and the ever-clever mouse was constantly outwitting the mouse traps I had meticulously set out. After two months of being outwitted by this mouse, I put out one of those sticky traps. It worked! Not even two hours after I had placed the long sticky strip on the floor, I heard the delightful cry of a trapped mouse. Just as I had ripped the mouse off the trap and was going to toss it outside to run away, our realtor was at the door, ready to show our house to potential buyers. I threw the mouse into the closest thing to me-her purse.

We went out to dinner that night with two other couples and just as the girl of my dreams began to unzip her purse to retrieve her tube of lipstick, my throat clogged in horror. I had forgotten about the mouse. I could only watch in some sort of surreal terrified horror as she unzipped the purse and the mouse leaped at my beauty and bit her on the cheek. It then leaped onto the table and flew like a launched rocket over the dinner course. You know what I did next, what we all did. It was unavoidable.

The laughter would not be contained, could not be contained. We laughed until we cried as she sat there crying and glaring at me like she wanted to scalp me.

I never saw her after that. Im not the best at handling this kind of pain as getting over break ups always takes me a long time. I tried phone calls, emails, text messages, singing telegrams. No response. I eventually had to accept that my beauty had left me.

I first met Erin about fifteen years ago through mutual friends. We’d always had a great platonic relationship, but then a few years ago an evening of beers and karaoke ended with our first kiss, and began our tumultuous romance.

We began our romantic relationship very intensely, moving in together within just a couple of months. Thanksgiving of that year, I asked Erin to marry me, and she joyfully agreed. We lived together in relative bliss for a while, planning our wedding and enjoying domesticity.

Unfortunately, after several months of this, things began to change. My mother became very ill, and I began to withdraw from Erin. Perhaps because of this, she fell back in to bad habits of drinking too much, which led to depression and increased frustration on my part. We tried going to couples’ counseling, but even with that we were becoming progressively more miserable. Basically we kept fighting and getting back together, back and forth.

In retrospect, what I did next was unthinkable. One night in July, Erin made dinner as usual and we watched some television. Before we retired, I asked her if she wanted to go see a movie the next day. She replied that she would love to, looking happy and hopeful. We set off the next afternoon, and I informed her I had to stop at her mother’s house to pick something up. This wasn’t unusual — we went over there all the time. When we arrived at her mother’s house, we both went inside, and Erin went to use the bathroom while I ostensibly looked something up in the phone book.

When she came out, I told her it was over, that she couldn’t come back to the house, and I didn’t want to talk about it. I drove away as she stood in the doorway, stunned and frozen. Looking back at that now I can only imagine how heartbroken she was… At the time though I was totally numb to it.

After that day, the only times I saw or spoke to Erin were when she called about her things and came to pick them up. I refused to talk to her otherwise; refused to ever discuss what had happened between us.

Once the dust settled I realized what I had done. It took me a long time to move on and get over her after that, and really I don’t know why I committed such a cowardly act. I regret it to this day. For the longest time I blamed my actions on the effects of my mother’s failing health or Erin’s drinking and depression, but truthfully, I think was just scared and I chose to take it out on her by breaking up. I hope someday she’ll find a way to forgive me.

Mark R. – 34, graphic designer

Men come in as many different molds as women. Some are sensitive, thoughtful and attentive lovers. Some are callous, selfish and inattentive. I like to think I’m a balanced blend of the two, leaning perhaps toward the former. My past, though, was a different story.

I met Suzanne in high school. We were almost stereotypical students, she the shy, insecure girl, me the arrogant, confident athlete. We were actually good together. We spent a lot of our time laughing, which is usually an indicator of a good relationship. Maybe if we’d met later in life or if we hadn’t dated each other exclusively so young, things would have turned out better.

Secure in my relationship with Suzanne, I didn’t believe I could actually do anything that would hurt her. After all, if she didn’t know, it didn’t matter. Over the six years we were together, I fooled around with some other girls. It wasn’t a regular occurrence, but as someone once commented, it only takes one kiss to be unfaithful.

The beginning of the end was when Suzanne found out about my infidelities. She was surprised and truly heartbroken by what I had done. I hadn’t treated her as well overall as I should have. Because of that, Suzie had distanced herself a bit from me, but not enough to be unscathed by the cheating. When I realized what I had done to her, it hit me in the chest like a truck.

Of course when she left and it really settled in that  I was getting dumped because I screwed up thats when I felt horrible. I couldn’t bear the thought of her leaving me because I’d been so monstrous to her. I begged and cajoled and finally convinced her to give me another chance. I had no idea it was too late. During our brief time ‘back together,’ Suzie went out with other guys. Any feelings of love or commitment she had for me had been ground to dust by the way I had treated her.

The final breakup came and when the heartbreak settled in it was more than I could bear. I sat in my apartment and wished I would cease to exist. I was forced to face the person I was and I didn’t like him very well, which made spending all that time alone unbearable and getting over the broken heart seemed impossible.

While I was starting to get over the break up I spent a lot of time berating myself and wondering how Suzie had tolerated me all those years. I had no answer to that question. I only knew that I would no longer be that guy. The new me had arrived.

Jess, 39 – engineer

Although I have dated occasionally in the past, I was never involved in a serious relationship until my early thirties. Those five months with a beautiful, sophisticated woman were the best months of my life. I was able to experience love, tenderness and a new outlook on life. I never knew I could be so happy. I used to be the type of guy that would have a permanent scowl on his face and keep to myself all the time. But with her, I felt joy and couldn’t stop smiling. Why she chose me to be her man, I will never know. Unfortunately, she soon realized she could do much better than me and kicked me to the curb.

I will always remember the day when she texted me, letting me know she didn’t feel the same way about me anymore and realized she wants to be with a man with a better future than myself. You see, she is a college graduate with a good career and lots of intelligence. I, on the other hand, drive trucks for a living. I sat there, looking at my phone in complete disbelief. How could anyone be so careless as to break up over a text message? My heart was officially broken, as was my phone as I threw it across the room.

I didn’t think I could go on living after my girlfriend left me. It’s like I had everything I ever wanted in a girlfriend when we were together. Not only was she incredibly gorgeous, but she also inspired me to be a better man. When I think of the good times we have together, my heart feels like it’s going to burst at the seams. The pain is unbearable and cannot imagine how life can be sunny once again.

I heard only time heals wounds of the heart and I hope this is so, because everything I’ve done to try and get over her hasn’t worked. I miss the way she cuddled with me when she wanted comfort or the soft kisses she gave me that were so amazing. I miss going on dates with her and the world seeing I was with a beautiful woman. Life will never be the same as those few months, but I’m grateful for the opportunity I was given and pray that God will grant me just one more opportunity to find love.

Richard M – 32, Truck Driver

There’s nothing quite as painful as getting dumped by your girlfriend right before Christmas. Having your heart ripped out and shoved in your face in front of all of your best buddies is about as bad as it gets, especially when you have already bought the girl an expensive ring with thoughts of MAYBE proposing on Christmas Eve.

It all started with a call from my brother. “Hey Jack!” he said. “What’s going on between you and Michelle these days?” There was an odd edge to his voice.

“Well, you know, same as always,” I said, not quite ready to tell him I might be about to propose.

“Any problems or anything?” he asked.

“No, things are great. Better than great. Why?”

There was a long pause. “I have some bad news, Bro. I just saw Michelle with Jim Treadwell, they’re at a party at Anna’s Steakhouse.”

The fear that had started to grip me eased.

“No worries, little brother, she told me she was going to that Christmas party for her office. She asked me if I wanted to come, but you know how I hate those things.”

“Well,” my brother said, “you should have gone with her. They were dancing and kissing and everybody saw them.”

My heart dropped out of my chest and into my shoes. I remember that feeling of heartbreak flushing through my whole body. I felt sick, angry and betrayed. I jumped into my car and rushed to the restaurant. I caught up with them in the parking lot. Jim had his arm around Michelle, and their heads were bent toward one another, laughing and teasing.

“Michelle!” I yelled, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say. My brother and several of our friends had drifted out of the steakhouse to watch the scene. I was expecting that she would be surprised, embarrassed, nervous. Instead, she just laughed at me and pulled Jim closer to her without even speaking a word.

I wanted to follow, to ask her what was going on, what had changed, but with everyone looking at me, I just stood there and let her go.

We never spoke again. I tried calling many times, but she never returned my calls. I still can’t understand how I read the situation so poorly, to think that I was on the brink of proposing at the same time she was dumping me. I returned the ring and spent the money on tequila.

Jack F- 28, construction manager.

When I was in my late teens my mom was known as the “tribal mom.” All the kids who had nowhere else to stay were welcome to crash at our place, so it wasn’t a big deal when my friend Lauren moved in.

Lauren was a very attractive girl who I’d always had a thing for, and I decided it was my golden opportunity to ask her out. We only dated for about seven months, but she was my first love.

One night we went out partying; we had just been joking around when her tone suddenly went somber, “CJ, this isn’t working.”

I assumed she was talking about the lighter I just handed her, and nearly toppled over trying to face her. That was when I saw the look on her face.

The “break-up” stare – I think little girls are taught it in school, because they all seem to use it. “We’re just not right together.”

She’d never expressed any doubts in our relationship before, so I was dumbstruck by the news and I really didn’t understand why she would dump me. “You just aren’t mature enough for me,” she said while taking a puff from a joint, which I found to be a tad ironic.

I wasn’t in the condition to argue, so I just went into my room and popped some heavy metal into my cassette player to pass out to.

The next morning I felt like hell, and when I opened my bedroom door I was surprised to see none other than Lauren sleeping on the couch.

Apparently the door opening woke her up, because she looked up at me and laughed, “You look like shit.” I demanded to know why she was still there, only for her to insist that she still needed a place to say.

My mother, catching my glance of dismay, told me, “We can’t just kick her out.” Lauren lived there for another year; I lived there two more months before I moved out of state.

As if that isn’t bad enough, over the past ten years my mom and Lauren have become really good friends.

I took a girlfriend home to meet my mom, and the better half of our ten-day stay was spent with Lauren and her kids hanging around. It was a little awkward, to say the least.

CJ, 28 – Sales manager