We’ve all been there, the inevitable end to a relationship. Some we see coming from far away and almost try to hurry up the process. Others, you get completely blindsided by. The later are the one’s that obviously hurt the most and take the longest to get over. When you didn’t see a relationship breakup coming, you aren’t able to brace yourself and prepare to move on.

My version of the breakup story happened the day before New Year’s Eve. Nathalie and I had been dating for about three years and had decided to move in together that year. We found a great two bedroom condo in a fantastic neighborhood. There was a great Italian restaurant, bookstore and even a karaoke piano bar nearby. I could visualize myself staying here, with Nathalie, for years.

Around Thanksgiving, I had noticed she was behaving differently. She started traveling a lot more often for work, which created a divide between us. Christmas came and past, we each spent it with our separate families. When I called to wish Nathalie a Merry Christmas, she seemed distraught and explained she had to travel the next day for work. I was surprised she was traveling right after Christmas but let it go. When she arrived home on December 30th, she looked exhausted. I asked her what was wrong and she blurted out “I have another boyfriend”.

The worst part was that she wasn’t even apologetic. Nathalie acted as if the break up was my fault, that I had driven her to this other guy.

I’m not exactly clear about what happened next. I know there were a few broken coffee mugs and I had a very sore hand from punching the wall.  I started packing my things and was out of the condo completely by New Year’s Eve morning. I spent New Year’s with my single buddies who were determined to help me get over the break up. I definitely drank away my sorrows and it did help with getting over a break up.

Two good things came from this. First, I was able to start the New Year completely anew, without her. Secondly, I was intoxicated enough that I definitely slept that night and well into the next day. My lingering headache made it almost impossible to think about her.

The weeks and months that followed were difficult. I had to find a new place to live. I ended up moving in with a friend. And I somehow had to start dating again. My friends attempted to set me up but I was definitely not ready.

After about six months, I started to seek out girls again, on my own. I wanted to ease back into the dating game with people who didn’t know my past and how badly I had gotten burned. Getting over a break up like this was definitely left its last effects, I am not sure if I’ll ever be able to trust someone so blindly again.

Felipe R, 34, Quality Control Inspector

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