RULE #2: How To Get Over Your Relationship With Your Ex Girlfriend After It Ends Between You & Her…
Most guys already know that staying friends with an ex girlfriend is a bad idea…
But usually its not a matter of “knowing” because most of the time guys can’t help themselves regardless.
If you’re breaking up with someone you love then you probably know that the idea of not having her around at all can be really scary…
And that is why when the relationship is ending is the most tempting to rationalize why you and her are the exception, and how the two of you can be cool about being just friends.
Unfortunately most of the time guys are kidding themselves… Seeing her, having her around, still having that connection feels good because she is still in your life. But it makes pain of not being with her WORSE.
Having her around will NOT ease the pain after a break up In fact almost all the time staying friends right afterwards is a form of self torture. It makes the heartbreak you’re feeling worse, and usually it stresses the friendship to point where someone has to end it, whether its painfully sudden or gradual.
Especially when you’re broken hearted, staying connected with her becomes like catch 22…
It can give you some relief from the intense pain to have her around, but when in the end she isn’t yours anymore, the pain just amplifies.
A relationship break up is also a friendship break up. At least for a while… The reality is you can’t change the way you relate to your ex girlfriend just because you change the title. How you feel about her has to change before you can be friends with her.
Sometimes this takes months of no contact… And most of the time (honestly) it takes much longer.
Ending relationships is messy… Staying friends right after can make it catastrophic. Really. If you still like her enough to be this heartbroken then the idea of just not having her in your life may seem insane. Especially if you are trying to get over a girl you’ve been together with a long time and she is the one who is ending the relationship. But if you stay friends with her, it won’t feel like friendship.
You’ll find yourself doing and saying things to impress her or get her back.
You’ll still be super-sensitive to her talking about hanging out with or seeing other guys.
And you’ll end up still feeling rejected when she (inevitably) starts making space in her life for other things.
Staying friends can make all the difference between whether you get over her quickly or if you’re still heartbroken in the months to come…
A few more things to consider…
- If YOU initiate the break in friendship your ex girlfriend will respect you more for having the strength to do so.
- At some point, if you still really like her and you’re trying to just be her “friend”, it will make things weird between the two fo you.
- If you wait for her to initiate taking a break, usually things by then will be too far gone to rebuild anything in the future.