RULE #6: Getting Over Heartbreak Means Accepting That You Are Going To Be In Pain For A While…
If you are really broken hearted then there is no two ways about it…
The good news is how much pain and fast you heal is up to you…
There is basically two ways you can handle the coming days or weeks.
Avoid the pain… Keep fantasizing about your ex girlfriend and how you can get her back.
Facing the heartbreak and pain directly and getting through it.
When you actually accept that there is pain ahead you then something really interesting happens.
When it actually comes… Its not going to be as bad as you think.
This kind of a “jedi mind trick actually”.
If you tell yourself now that…
“Nights and weeks are probably going to be the toughest…”
“It might be hard to sleep at night or I’ll be tempted to keep sleeping in the morning…”
“Random and stupid things are going to remind me of her…”
“Some days will be easier than others…”
“On some occasion the heartache and “love spells” might be totally overwhelming… And on others it might be dull pain…”
A strange thing about heartbreak is that its everything from painful flairs ups to dull background pain. The tough part is that when it is at its worst it feels like it will always hurt that much. And when your mind is racing at a hundred miles an hour it can leave you drained and feeling “numb”.
Break up recovery is not a straight line… It’s a zig zag back and forth…This is why some days are worse than others… And why sometimes just when you think the clouds have parted a little bit or that you were beginning to not think about it, something random triggers the pain again.
This why guys often will trick themselves into thinking it must be “true love” because otherwise they wouldn’t be in so much pain…
A broken heart will mend as fast as you allow it…Most guys think they are helpless and that they can’t do anything about being so hung up on a girl… Only to find themselves still not over their ex girlfriend and still living in ther shadow of their old relationship long afterwards.
This way they keep reliving the past and by doing so they keep the pain alive for themselves and they don’t get the chance to let the heartbreak heal.
You can do things to feel better and move on… The only problem is that often guys don’t want to.
Its as if trying to move on and feel better means that you are actually somehow admiting that it is really over.
You can get relief from painful heartache and go through much less pain depending on the conditions YOU create…
- Don’t ever apologize, feel pathetic or judge yourself for being heartbroken. The more you ignore it or push it off the longer it will stay with you.
- Anticipating the pain will reduce the effect it has on when it actually arrives.
- Try as hard as you can not buy into the illusory feeling of “I’ll feel like this forever…”