You See Her With Another GuyCouple with Cellular Phones in Condominium

You’re browsing her FB and you see it. There she is in one of her pics, smiling, with another guy. Your heart starts to race. Pangs of jealousy course through your body.

You size him up from the get go. Trying to see what he’s got that you don’t. Even worse, she actually looks happy next to him.

Who is this guy? Where did she meet him? Did she know him before the two of you broke up? Are they dating?

Question after question bombards your mind. You need to know. You need to find out who this guy is and what he is to her.

Don’t Panic!

If you’re feeling like you want to call her and demand to know who this guy is, or you want to start blowing up her phone with accusatory texts.

STOP

This will only do more damage.

If you want to casually drop her a text and tell her she looks happy. Or tell her “congats” on her new beau.

STOP

You don’t mean it and she’ll see right through it.

You are in a triggered emotional state. You saw the pic, or maybe you heard from a friend she’s dating someone, and you’re crushed. You thought maybe the two of you had another chance but now it’s clear she’s moved on. Or you may be wondering how do you get her away from this guy and back into your arms.

It may feel like you’re going crazy. You want to punch that guy!

What you’re feeling is perfectly normal.

Jealousy Is A Bitch

You’ve never wanted to be that jealous guy. You always gave her the benefit of the doubt. Plus she would always get upset when you asked her about another guy when the two of you together, so you bit your tongue.

Now, the two of you aren’t together and you feel like you have no control over this situation. You want to stop feeling this way, like you’re sick to the stomach.

Jealousy is Normal

Jealousy is a perfectly normal human emotion, and while there is a stigma around it, especially for men, it has it’s place in human nature. Maybe you’ve even been afraid of your own jealousy. Society deems it aggressive and tries to make it wrong.

This emotion is a part of what tells us that we really care about someone. If you didn’t feel jealousy it would mean that you didn’t really care that much about her.

Feel The Jealousy And Don’t React

Be okay with this emotion. Don’t try to rationalize it away, it will only get worse. Take a deep breath and feel the anger, the pain, the betrayal, whatever comes up for you.

Take that breath now… 1… 2… 3…

Now, if you’re still in contact with her don’t react. Don’t ask her questions about this guy. Don’t make any accusations. It will only push her further away.

If she brings up another guy during a conversation you’re having, simply steer the conversation in another direction and make it clear that you want to talk about something else.

Having acceptance for this situation instead of resisting it will ultimately make you feel better and will make her question her decision about not being with you.